Faith Deployed Interview

As  a contributing author to the Faith Deployed website, I was recently interviewed by it’s founder, Jocelyn Green. Her website is a fabulous resource for military spouses seeking information, hope and encouragement.  Do check it out:  faithdeployed.com  In the meantime, here is the interview.  Please pardon me for allowing this post to be ‘all about me.’  You’ll discover I’m really not much different than you…just a recipient of God’s undeserved amazing grace.

1)     How many years have you been an Air Force wife? 23

2)     In what ways does it get easier with time to be a military wife?

When we first came in the Air Force, I was horrified when I was told my husband would probably have to do a year-long ‘remote’ tour. Just the thought of being apart from him for such a long time made me a nervous wreck. But as time went on, his TDY’s got longer and longer. We were able to gradually get used to being apart from one another. By the time we had been in the AF for ten years, he actually volunteered for a remote assignment so my son and I could stay in one place during my son’s high school years. I NEVER envisioned us making such a decision when he first became active duty. But when the time came, it was a very easy decision to make.

In what ways does it stay the same or get harder?

For me, the moving has always been the hardest part of military life. Accessible houses are always more difficult to find. Our choices are much fewer than everyone else’s. After 36 years of using a wheelchair for mobility, it’s getting physically harder for me to unpack all those boxes and put things away. YET, with each move, God has shown Himself faithful and has ALWAYS provided exactly what I have needed. I have experienced God in ways most people have not. My faith has grown much stronger as a result of all of our moving.

3)      As you mentor newer military wives, what do you try to impress upon them? In other words, what are the most important lessons they should grasp as soon as possible?

I think the most important concept for them to grasp is that they are complete in Christ. It’s Christ who makes us complete, not necessarily our husbands. When we find our value, security and significance in Christ, we can love our husbands more unconditionally and support them in their military career.

4)    What tips do you have for adapting to changes that always come?

Life is all about change. Nothing remains the same forever, especially for women. Usually, most of us perceive change as a loss. But God is a God of new beginnings. He’s always doing new, exciting things in our lives. We will seek Him and find Him when we seek Him with all our heart. When we hold on to the past and refuse to let go, we miss what He’s doing right now.

5)     Do you still get lonely? How do you deal with that?

I think we live in a culture that is plagued with loneliness. Yes, I still get lonely, even when my husband is home. Women have a deep need for meaningful relationships with one another. And when we don’t feel as though we have that in our lives, we get very lonely. At each new assignment, I pray that God will show me someone with whom I can make a connection. For me, it must be a spiritual connection that’s rooted in Christ and share my passion for the things of God. God has been more than generous and has given me life long fiends throughout the years.

6)    Tell us about your involvement with PWOC. What can military wives gain from being involved in a chapter?

I have been involved with PWOC on many different levels throughout the years. From a regional president to writing Bible studies specifically designed to meet the needs of the women in this group, PWOC has been the ministry through which God has called me to serve. Military wives have much to gain from becoming involved in their local PWOC. With Bible study being the core of this group, women have multiple opportunities to grow spiritually while developing those close relationships that are so important to us as women. Being able to connect with other military women on this level is what sustains us while our husbands are gone. Being involved in the leadership of PWOC allows women to use their gifts and talents to serve others, making their time at each location filled with purpose and meaning. For many women, their involvement in PWOC has meant the difference between thriving and simply surviving not just a deployment, but the entire time the are at their duty assignment.

7)     What are your favorite Bible studies to recommend to military wives?

I can’t really recommend any specific study or studies. Different Bible studies minister to different people at different times. The most important thing is that you are taking a Bible study. God is going to speak to you through His word, regardless of which Bible study you’re taking. Just be open and ready to receive what God has for you. Allow scripture to transform your inner self – the place of thought, feeling, will and character. Learn to read the word so that it changes you, instead of you changing it to fit your needs.

8)      Have you made any mistakes as a military wife that you have learned from which you can share?

When I found out about our assignment in Tucson, AZ, I was mortified. All of our friends and family are in the East, so I was devastated to think we’d be so far away from them. I’m sure my claw marks are still imbedded into the interstate roads leading west, as my husband literally had to drag me along behind him. Once we got to AZ, I was even angrier. I could not see my family without buying expensive plane tickets. I cried for the first six months we were there. In between my anger and my tears, God began to show me that he had a plan for me being there. I gradually began to surrender my anger and slowly embraced what I felt He had called me there to do. The more I saw Him working, the more excited I became about being at that location. By the time we left two years later, God had given me a productive and effective ministry, 4 wonderful life-long friends and to this day, Tucson is our most favorite assignment. Lesson learned? God is God of the assignment system. Even if our assignments are not where we think we want to go, I’ve learned to go with an open mind and an open heart to what God has planned for us.

9)    As a paraplegic, you have had to overcome more challenges than most of us can imagine. And yet I know you invest so much time ministering to the needs of others. What is the importance of focusing your attention outside of yourself and your own circumstances?

God doesn’t call perfect people, He calls those whose hearts are perfect towards Him. I’m living proof that God can use anyone,regardless of your physical circumstances. Even with a physical disability, I feel very strongly that God has called me to do certain things. Nothing gives me more joy than being obedient and doing what God has called me to do, whether it’s writing a Bible study, serving breakfast to the poor and homeless or babysitting for a special needs child so that a weary mother can have some time to herself. There’s nothing joyfulor fulfilling about being inwardly focused, in fact, it just causes us to feel even emptier which leads to deeper despair. It’s a vicious cycle.When we’re inwardly focused, we cannot be God’s hands and feet reaching outward, being fruitful and effective for His glory.